About the Contributor
This story was written by Jonelle Colabufalo , shared as part of The Impactful Voice Project™ — One Voice. Infinite Impact.™
Jonelle Colabufalo is the founder of the Jared Dunscombe Foundation, a not-for-profit that transforms personal loss into tangible community impact. Known as a peaceful warrior, she leads with calm, purpose, and a results-driven approach to sustainable social change.
🔸 Country: Australia
🔸 Connect: http://www.jdf.org.au
KEY POINTS
- Profound personal loss can become a catalyst for meaningful, community-driven change.
- Grief does not have to be isolating when shared with purpose and connection.
- True impact comes from acting in the present moment, not waiting for “the right time.”
- Quiet, grounded leadership can create powerful and measurable social outcomes.
- Legacy is built through intentional action while the “sand is still falling.”
The Hourglass Effect: Turning the Pain of Loss into the Power of Now
The Hourglass Effect: Turning the Pain of Loss into the Power of Now
I learned about the fragility of life earlier than most. The lesson arrived with the screech of brakes on a rainy afternoon, the day before my sixth birthday. We were walking to a gymnastics class, holding my mother’s hand, when my brother Jared, who was just seven and a half years old, misheard a command. He heard “ready” instead of “wait,” let go of her hand, and ran into the path of a car.
That moment was the first turning point of my life. Jared sustained severe, life-threatening injuries, and the doctors at the hospital told us he wouldn’t survive. He spent months in the hospital and weeks in a coma. At one point, his life support was switched off, yet miraculously, he began breathing on his own. What followed were years of recovery where he had to relearn everything from how to sit, how to feed himself, how to walk.
Growing up in the shadow of that trauma reshaped my identity. While my family focused entirely on Jared’s rehabilitation, I developed an inherent drive to be independent and self-driven. I didn’t want to be a burden or add to the chaos. I became what people now describe as a “peaceful warrior” – calm, reliable, and grounded, even when the world felt frantic. I learned early on not to sweat the small stuff because I had seen, with terrifying clarity, how quickly the big stuff can be taken away.
Jared defied every limit placed upon him, and he thrived. He became a university graduate, a business owner, a talented musician, and a community advocate. He even trekked the Kokoda Trail. He was the embodiment of resilience.
Then came the second turning point, and one that would redefine everything.
On the 22nd of February 2013, Jared was participating in a charity cycling event, doing what he loved, giving back to the community. In a cruel twist of fate, he fell from his bike and was killed instantly. He was 31 years old.
Losing him the first time, when we were children, was a lesson in fear and fragility. Losing him the second time was a lesson in finality. The grief was absolute. But as the first anniversary of his passing approached, I found myself standing at a crossroads. I could retreat into the pain, or I could use the resilience I had built over a lifetime to create something meaningful.
My husband suggested we do something to honour him, perhaps a charity walk to raise money for a specific cause. We set a goal to raise $20,000 for a child’s life-saving surgery. We weren’t event planners. We were just a family in grief trying to make sense of a senseless loss. To our astonishment, we exceeded that target on the very first day.
That first “Walk to Remember” changed the trajectory of my life. This wasn’t just about raising money, it was about connecting the community. I realised that grief, while deeply personal, does not have to be isolating. By inviting others to walk with us, we created a space for shared connection and purpose.
This was the birth of the Jared Dunscombe Foundation. But more importantly, it was the birth of a new philosophy for me: the philosophy of the hourglass.
I now use an hourglass as a visual representation of my life’s work when I share my story at schools and with organisations like TRAG – Teenagers Road Accident Group. It’s difficult to retell the tragedy, but the impact is undeniable. This year, there have been no young person fatalities from driving accidents on the Mornington Peninsula. The message I share is that no one knows how much sand or how much time is left. The bottom is just the past, sand that has already fallen. The only thing we have any control over is the narrow neck in the middle: the sand falling right now, at this exact moment.
My brother’s death taught me that we can’t bank time and we can’t wait for a better time to make a difference or to find fulfilment. We have to embrace the present. This insight shifted my focus from simply fundraising to creating tangible, immediate impact. I didn’t want to just contribute to a large, unspecified pool of charity funds; I wanted to see the result. I wanted to know that because we acted today, a child’s life would be better tomorrow.
My journey has taught me that you don’t need to be frantic to be effective. You don’t need to be loud to be heard. You simply need to show up, right now, while the sand is falling.
The decision to turn loss into legacy was one of the hardest and best decisions I ever made. It redefined my understanding of success and the ripple effect of your actions. It’s about realising that while we can’t control the quantity of sand left in our hourglass, we have absolute power over the quality of the moment passing through it right now.
Don’t wait for a tragedy to jolt you into realising how precious the flow of time is. Find your purpose, connect with your community, and make every moment count.
#LivedExperience, #TurningLossIntoLegacy, #StorytellingForChange, #GriefAndResilience, #CommunityImpact, #SocialChange, #PurposeDriven, #ImpactfulVoices, #TheImpactfulVoiceProject
Jonelle Colabufalo is the founder of the Jared Dunscombe Foundation, a not-for-profit organisation that transforms personal loss into positive community action. She embodies the essence of a peaceful warrior, known for her calm and inspiring approach to achieving significant results. Her unique philanthropic model focuses on strategic partnerships and tangible outcomes, serving as a highly efficient funding and volunteer arm for other charities and impactful projects. Her visionary leadership offers a new blueprint for sustainable social change.
“You don’t need to be frantic to be effective. You don’t need to be loud to be heard. You simply need to show up, right now, while the sand is falling.”
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